1
00:00:03,426 --> 00:00:05,493
Oh, I'm finally here.

2
00:00:05,562 --> 00:00:06,628
Oh, this has been my dream

3
00:00:06,663 --> 00:00:08,196
ever since I saw "An American in Paris."

4
00:00:08,265 --> 00:00:09,430
For me, it was "Am�lie."

5
00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:10,965
I made my mom give me that haircut.

6
00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:13,301
Happy Valentine's Day, mon cheri.

7
00:00:13,403 --> 00:00:14,836
Ah, gay Paree.

8
00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:16,538
See, I told you it would be Claire.

9
00:00:16,606 --> 00:00:18,439
- I had my money on Jay.
- Sorry, ladies,

10
00:00:18,508 --> 00:00:19,974
I'm in too good a mood.

11
00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,242
It's no big deal.

12
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:23,144
I'm getting a lifetime achievement award

13
00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:26,547
at this year's Expo
Internationale du Closet.

14
00:00:26,649 --> 00:00:28,749
Why don't they translate the last word?

15
00:00:28,851 --> 00:00:30,951
I'm sure they have a word for closet.

16
00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,186
They're French.

17
00:00:32,288 --> 00:00:34,155
Maybe they went on strike
before they got to the end.

18
00:00:34,707 --> 00:00:39,243
Monsieur Pritchett,
welcome to the Crowne Plaza.

19
00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:40,678
I am Bernard Busse,

20
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:43,414
president of the
International Closet Guild.

21
00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,149
Mwah!

22
00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:47,718
- Mwah!
- Oh, God. He made the sound.

23
00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:50,654
And this woman needs no introduction.

24
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,957
You are just as beautiful

25
00:00:53,059 --> 00:00:55,025
as Jay described in his e-mail.

26
00:00:55,127 --> 00:00:57,528
It's a pleasure to meet you, Stella.

27
00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,530
Oh, no, no. This is my wife, Gloria.

28
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:02,032
I-I put you in the e-mail,
but then it was too long.

29
00:01:02,134 --> 00:01:04,602
Well, I hope to see you both

30
00:01:04,704 --> 00:01:06,937
at the cocktail reception in an hour.

31
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,739
� bient�t.

32
00:01:09,305 --> 00:01:10,307
Adi�s.

33
00:01:10,309 --> 00:01:12,276
'Cause that's what we need.
A third language.

34
00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,078
We have an hour.
We should go sightseeing.

35
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:15,713
- Maybe check out Notre Dame.
- No, thank you.

36
00:01:15,815 --> 00:01:18,349
I saw it back in the day,
before it was a shell of itself.

37
00:01:18,451 --> 00:01:20,150
Seeing it again would only depress me.

38
00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:21,652
Yeah, I know what you mean.

39
00:01:21,754 --> 00:01:23,254
That's why I can't shop at Sears.

40
00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:25,389
Manny, why don't you go and check us in

41
00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:27,057
since you disgraced this family

42
00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:29,627
by learning French instead of Spanish.

43
00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:31,695
And get that room that they promised me.

44
00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:33,964
Apparently some earl once slept there.

45
00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:35,399
We're so proud of you, Dad.

46
00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:38,135
Thanks. I only wish my old
man could be here to see this.

47
00:01:38,237 --> 00:01:39,270
You know, it's funny.

48
00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,238
He stormed the beaches of Normandy,

49
00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:42,806
and I'm getting a closet award.

50
00:01:42,909 --> 00:01:44,241
We keep topping each other.

51
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,543
Who knows what Joe will do?

52
00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:48,178
Hey, w-what are you doing now?

53
00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:49,947
Well, you know, it's Valentine's Day,

54
00:01:50,016 --> 00:01:51,248
so I think I'm gonna enjoy

55
00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:53,851
the most romantic city in
the world with my husband.

56
00:01:53,953 --> 00:01:56,653
- Mm.
- Oh. Sorry.

57
00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:59,323
Phil can't come to Paris
because he has to work.

58
00:01:59,391 --> 00:02:02,526
It stinks, but I am still
gonna have so much fun

59
00:02:02,595 --> 00:02:03,860
visiting all my favorite places

60
00:02:03,929 --> 00:02:05,962
from the semester I
spent there in college.

61
00:02:05,981 --> 00:02:07,013
Real-estate emergency.

62
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:08,982
Um, broker/client confidentiality

63
00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:10,517
fobids me from discussing it.

64
00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:13,420
The stuff I've seen...
you do not want to know.

65
00:02:13,522 --> 00:02:14,688
Correct.

66
00:02:14,723 --> 00:02:17,290
Look, if you want,
and you don't feel too awkward

67
00:02:17,392 --> 00:02:19,425
about being a third wheel, maybe...

68
00:02:19,477 --> 00:02:21,277
Ugh! Pity invite from Mitchell?

69
00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:23,613
How the tables have turned.

70
00:02:23,682 --> 00:02:24,687
No, merci.

71
00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:26,516
I'm gonna go find my favorite caf�,

72
00:02:26,585 --> 00:02:29,418
have a glass of wine, and try
not to be sad that I'm all alone.

73
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,393
Okay, great. Have fun.

74
00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:32,021
Bye.

75
00:02:32,123 --> 00:02:34,724
Ooh-la-la.

76
00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:46,904
Modern Family S11E13
Paris
Original Air Date on Feb 12, 2020

77
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,495
You know, I heard the bread here

78
00:02:49,575 --> 00:02:51,236
is healthier than the
kind we have back home.

79
00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:52,875
Well, how is that possible?
Bread is bread.

80
00:02:52,977 --> 00:02:54,810
You would think,
but it's actually the way

81
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:56,011
that the grain is, um...

82
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,748
No, no, it's...
It's the way that the... the ovens...

83
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,150
Okay, look, I'm gonna have a
lot of bread while we're here.

84
00:03:01,252 --> 00:03:02,506
I need it to be okay.

85
00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,186
I am so sorry.

86
00:03:04,288 --> 00:03:05,354
I think I'm jet-lagged.

87
00:03:05,456 --> 00:03:06,722
You know what? I might take a nap

88
00:03:06,824 --> 00:03:09,258
while you go out and... explore.

89
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,392
Ooh! Oh.

90
00:03:10,395 --> 00:03:12,928
What was that? W-Why did your bag honk?

91
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,897
I think that was a phone.
You know, that's how they ring here.

92
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,067
Will somebody answer that? Hmm? Hmm?

93
00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,168
Don't be mad.

94
00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:20,569
Fizbo?

95
00:03:20,671 --> 00:03:22,705
My sweaters were too bulky to pack,

96
00:03:22,807 --> 00:03:24,073
but Fizbo made the cut?

97
00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:26,108
Oh, come on.
You know it's always been my dream to...

98
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:28,778
to bring the magic of Fizbo
to the streets of Paris.

99
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,945
You're not jet-lagged.

100
00:03:29,947 --> 00:03:32,615
You were gonna sneak
out and go clown around.

101
00:03:32,717 --> 00:03:34,617
You know that's not how we say it.
It's "clown about."

102
00:03:34,719 --> 00:03:35,818
I-I can't believe you lied to me.

103
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,353
Well, I can't believe I had to.

104
00:03:37,455 --> 00:03:39,889
You know, most clowns have
spouses that are supportive.

105
00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:42,625
I'm not convinced
most clowns have spouses.

106
00:03:44,862 --> 00:03:46,862
Claire was about to meet

107
00:03:46,964 --> 00:03:49,999
Clive Bixby's French cousin, Claude.

108
00:03:50,101 --> 00:03:51,467
The plan was simple enough.

109
00:03:51,569 --> 00:03:53,402
All I did was create
a fake work emergency

110
00:03:53,504 --> 00:03:56,005
and wait for Claire
at her favorite caf�.

111
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:59,542
Welcome to France.
What is the purpose of your visit?

112
00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:00,709
L'amour.

113
00:04:00,812 --> 00:04:02,144
Just answer the question, sir!

114
00:04:02,246 --> 00:04:03,546
Oh, I'm s-so sorry.

115
00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:05,014
Um, business...

116
00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:06,982
of l'amour.

117
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:14,074



118
00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:17,960
It helps to add a little sugar...

119
00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:19,161
Claude.

120
00:04:19,263 --> 00:04:20,830
Oh. Thank you, but th...

121
00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:22,498
this is, uh, not my real name.

122
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,800
It's my romantic alter ego.

123
00:04:24,902 --> 00:04:26,535
I'm surprising my wife.

124
00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:27,803
Not bad.

125
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,004
For an American.

126
00:04:29,106 --> 00:04:30,439
Oh, really? You can do better?

127
00:04:31,976 --> 00:04:35,878
Many years ago,
I met a woman in this very caf�.

128
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:39,114
We had a brief but passionate affair,

129
00:04:39,217 --> 00:04:41,283
spending our days exploring Paris

130
00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:43,052
and our nights...

131
00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:44,887
exploring each other.

132
00:04:44,989 --> 00:04:46,222
Mm.

133
00:04:46,324 --> 00:04:47,723
Well, I-I once took a woman

134
00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:50,693
to both Disneyland and
Knott's Berry Farm.

135
00:04:50,795 --> 00:04:52,595
In the same day.

136
00:04:53,865 --> 00:04:56,232
On the day we parted...

137
00:04:56,334 --> 00:05:00,703
we promised to meet here
on this Valentine's Day

138
00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:02,538
to rekindle our love.

139
00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:03,764
Who knows?

140
00:05:04,175 --> 00:05:06,509
The chances of her even remembering...

141
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:07,843
Oh, mon dieu.

142
00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:11,080
- Claire!
- Claire!

143
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:14,383
Mmm.

144
00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:15,758
Bonjour.

145
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:16,785
Hello.

146
00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:18,687
- Oh!
- Oh.

147
00:05:18,756 --> 00:05:20,163
I'm... I'm so sorry.

148
00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:22,501
"Sorry"?
H-How did you know I speak English?

149
00:05:22,726 --> 00:05:24,259
Have a nice visit.

150
00:05:27,464 --> 00:05:28,496
Excusez-moi.

151
00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:31,299
Um... ou se trouve, um...

152
00:05:31,368 --> 00:05:32,734
What are you looking for?

153
00:05:32,836 --> 00:05:34,202
Mona Lisa? McDonald's?

154
00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,336
Both are that way.

155
00:05:35,405 --> 00:05:38,606
Heads up,
the portions here are normal-size.

156
00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:41,109
H-How did you know I'm American?
Is my accent that bad?

157
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:45,079
We're dressed the same.

158
00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:47,015
There's no reason to attack me.

159
00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:56,674
Hey. Where's Jay?

160
00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:58,142
I think he's nervous.

161
00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,711
He has changed his outfit three times.

162
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:03,881
If this is what it's like to be
married to me, it's no picnic.

163
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:07,084
We have a problem.
I have to show you something. Come here.

164
00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:09,520
Burl Saunders!

165
00:06:09,588 --> 00:06:11,455
Close. Earl Chambers.

166
00:06:11,557 --> 00:06:13,223
Jay isn't getting the award.

167
00:06:13,292 --> 00:06:15,459
He's accepting it on behalf
of his ex-partner, Earl.

168
00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:16,593
What?

169
00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:17,728
How?

170
00:06:17,997 --> 00:06:19,129
When the Expo called,

171
00:06:19,198 --> 00:06:21,632
Manny talked to them
because he speaks French.

172
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,900
At least, he thought he did.

173
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,169
In my defense,
the French word for "hotel room"

174
00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:27,638
sounds a lot like "chamber."

175
00:06:27,706 --> 00:06:28,905
Oh, oui, oui.

176
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,441
They said you're putting
you up in the royal suite.

177
00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,419
It used to be some earl's chamber.

178
00:06:33,454 --> 00:06:36,546
That's closet people for you...
class all the way!

179
00:06:36,565 --> 00:06:38,531
Ah. He's here. What do we do?

180
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,433
Nothing. Tell him the truth.

181
00:06:40,535 --> 00:06:42,769
Jay's a grown man. He can handle it.

182
00:06:42,838 --> 00:06:44,237
Okay, but if he goes for my throat,

183
00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,039
be ready to dial neuf, un, un.

184
00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:48,975
That language.
It's like a bunch of horses talking.

185
00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:54,096
Look at this place. Everybody's here.

186
00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:56,899
Heinrich Muler of Berlin Closet-stadt,

187
00:06:56,968 --> 00:07:00,403
Susan Sadaki from Tokyo
Closets and Canned Whale Meat.

188
00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:01,771
It's a regular who's who.

189
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,873
Yeah, even when you say all their names.

190
00:07:03,942 --> 00:07:05,041
You know, I gotta tell you,

191
00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:07,043
this award couldn't have
come at a better time.

192
00:07:07,145 --> 00:07:09,845
With my closet company gone,
sometimes it feels like

193
00:07:09,948 --> 00:07:12,281
I don't have anything to
show for a lifetime of work,

194
00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:13,516
like it didn't matter.

195
00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:15,017
But now I know it did.

196
00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:16,919
Yes.

197
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,087
Wait here.

198
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,373
I'll be right back.

199
00:07:21,189 --> 00:07:24,393
New plan... I'm getting him out of here,
keeping him busy.

200
00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:26,529
You go and talk to the closet people.

201
00:07:26,631 --> 00:07:28,664
Make them give him an award.

202
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,534
Any kind of award.
He won't know the difference.

203
00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:33,135
- How?
- Bribe them.

204
00:07:33,237 --> 00:07:35,137
Blackmail them. Seduce them.

205
00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:37,006
Have I taught you nothing?

206
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,677
Phil?

207
00:07:40,678 --> 00:07:42,420
- Claire.
- Claire?

208
00:07:42,659 --> 00:07:45,410
Guy? Oh, my God.
What are you doing here?

209
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:46,711
Claire, you know this Guy?

210
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,114
Well, um... I used to.

211
00:07:50,284 --> 00:07:52,083
What are you both doing here?

212
00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:54,119
I came to surprise you
on Valentine's Day.

213
00:07:54,154 --> 00:07:55,887
You know the guy on the plane
with all the face bandages?

214
00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,848
- That was me.
- Oh.

215
00:07:57,991 --> 00:07:59,390
Claire, do you not remember

216
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,526
asking me to meet you here in this caf�

217
00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:04,395
exactly 30 years after we parted?

218
00:08:04,414 --> 00:08:05,846
Vaguely.

219
00:08:05,915 --> 00:08:08,416
I-I-I was crazy to think
this could work out.

220
00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:12,019
Of course a woman as
magnificent as you is married.

221
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,557
I don't want to interfere
with your day of romance.

222
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,559
I will wander our old haunts alone

223
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,861
and return to my hotel

224
00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:23,809
in the ghostly embrace of our memories.

225
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,616
- Adieu, Claire.
- Okay, cool. Bye.

226
00:08:26,719 --> 00:08:28,418
- Yeah.
- Let's go.

227
00:08:30,189 --> 00:08:32,789
- Alright, big day. Lots of plans.
- Mm.

228
00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:35,659
First things first,
getting into character.

229
00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:36,662
Oh.

230
00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,562
Claude Bixby,

231
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:41,031
mustard magnate with a flair for...

232
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:42,466
Uh, Phil... Claude...

233
00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:44,668
I-I love that you're doing all of this,

234
00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:46,403
but doesn't some tiny part of you

235
00:08:46,505 --> 00:08:49,139
feel guilty for ditching Guy?

236
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:54,344
I mean, he did wait for me for 30 years.

237
00:08:54,412 --> 00:08:56,112
We could invite him for a glass of wine.

238
00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:58,214
Fine.

239
00:08:58,283 --> 00:09:00,183
But I'm warning you,
if he gets out of line,

240
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:01,884
- Claude knows karate.
- Mm.

241
00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:04,187
And Krav Maga.
He's Jewish on his mother's side.

242
00:09:04,289 --> 00:09:05,388
Ooh.

243
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,061
Let's go this way, to the museum.

244
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,927
Are you sure? I think they're
expecting me back inside.

245
00:09:10,996 --> 00:09:12,161
Make them wait.

246
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:15,965
Why do you think the brides
arrive after everyone else?

247
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,032
You're the bride.

248
00:09:17,035 --> 00:09:18,200
Yeah, I'm the bride.

249
00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:19,568
- Alright, let's...
- No, no, no.

250
00:09:19,637 --> 00:09:20,736
You know what? It's this side.

251
00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:22,071
- So, tomorrow...
- No, no!

252
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,340
You know what? I'm sorry. It's this way.

253
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,243
- Are you kidding me?!
- What?!

254
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:29,578
How beautiful!

255
00:09:34,085 --> 00:09:35,217
Bonjour.

256
00:09:35,319 --> 00:09:36,619
B-Bonjour.

257
00:09:38,155 --> 00:09:40,088
Bonjour.

258
00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,924
Hunh-hunh.

259
00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:43,625
Oh.

260
00:09:43,694 --> 00:09:44,760
Pardon. Excusez-moi.

261
00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:46,195
Hunh-hunh!

262
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:52,301
- Bonjour.
- Ooh.

263
00:09:52,403 --> 00:09:54,369
- Une table pour un, monsieur?
- Uh, ehh.

264
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:01,776
Oh, Claire, remember that time

265
00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:04,012
when we snuck into the
cellar of that wine bar?

266
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,815
Oh, God, we were so crazy and so young!

267
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,316
Not anymore.
What's that, Grandma?

268
00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:09,419
She's a grandma now.

269
00:10:10,064 --> 00:10:12,320
Oh! Well, there's nothing more beautiful

270
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,422
than a life creating life,
which in turn...

271
00:10:14,491 --> 00:10:15,723
Creates more life.

272
00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:19,427
Well, uh...
Claire and I should get going.

273
00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:20,961
I was hoping to get up to Sacre Coeur

274
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,329
to get a view of the whole city.

275
00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:23,531
No need.

276
00:10:23,599 --> 00:10:26,033
I have a rooftop garden
suite at The Peninsula.

277
00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:27,334
It's the best view in town.

278
00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:29,136
How perfect is this?

279
00:10:29,238 --> 00:10:31,806
Frustratingly!

280
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,441
Alright. Here we go.

281
00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:36,743
Let's see here.

282
00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:37,911
Oh.

283
00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:39,179
Bonjour.

284
00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:41,548
In a few minutes, I'm going
to be performing in the square.

285
00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:44,051
Je m'appelle Fizbo.

286
00:10:46,822 --> 00:10:48,455
Lui, c'est Fizbeau.

287
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:50,424
- What?
- He is Fizbeau!

288
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,326
Fizbeau, okay?

289
00:11:01,436 --> 00:11:04,470
Guy, this suite is so beautiful.

290
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,172
I think the last time we were in Paris,

291
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,241
we had a franc between the two of us.

292
00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,577
Oh, God! Who's Frank?

293
00:11:10,645 --> 00:11:12,812
I've been lucky in business,

294
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,447
less so in love.

295
00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:17,616
I guess it's turned
me into a workaholic.

296
00:11:17,685 --> 00:11:21,587
I must be in the office
10, 12 hours a week.

297
00:11:21,656 --> 00:11:23,122
Shall we have some champagne?

298
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,256
Uh, no, thank you.

299
00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:25,858
I'm not really in the
mood for champagne.

300
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,360
Lucky for us,
because there are only two glasses.

301
00:11:28,723 --> 00:11:31,997
- Ah.
- Allow me to make a toast.

302
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,766
- To Phil.
- Aw.

303
00:11:34,835 --> 00:11:36,601
For allowing me to spend a bit more time

304
00:11:36,704 --> 00:11:38,503
with the most generous
lover I've ever...

305
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,672
Okay! I see what you're doing here.

306
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,642
The champagne, the hotel suite,
that carousel ride.

307
00:11:43,677 --> 00:11:46,678
You two stopped laughing
every time I circled around.

308
00:11:47,197 --> 00:11:49,898
I'm sorry, buddy,
but it's not gonna happen.

309
00:11:49,966 --> 00:11:52,000
Phil's right. I'm a married woman.

310
00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:54,436
There will be no romance on this trip.

311
00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:56,538
I'm sorry. I've been a fool.

312
00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:59,808
I guess I let myself indulge in
a fantasy more than I should.

313
00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:04,378
Please, let us all pretend this...

314
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:05,613
never happened.

315
00:12:05,715 --> 00:12:06,881
Wait.

316
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,816
Was that Poulanc's misdirect?

317
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,384
Indeed.

318
00:12:10,486 --> 00:12:11,385
Oh.

319
00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:12,887
A fellow prestidigitator?

320
00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:13,965
Yes!

321
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:15,957
Put her there.

322
00:12:17,227 --> 00:12:18,426
Your watch, sir?

323
00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:19,827
- Looking for this?
- What?!

324
00:12:19,929 --> 00:12:21,028
Oh, no way!

325
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:22,763
We should bounce.

326
00:12:22,815 --> 00:12:25,033
Tell me you're going to
visit Le Mus�e des Magiciens

327
00:12:25,068 --> 00:12:25,483
while you're here.

328
00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:26,650
- Ohh.
- The Museum of Magicians?

329
00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:27,952
I'm dying to go, but they're closed

330
00:12:28,054 --> 00:12:29,286
Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays...

331
00:12:29,355 --> 00:12:31,016
and Mondays and Wednesdays.

332
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,689
Not if you know the owner.

333
00:12:32,758 --> 00:12:34,224
I can get us a private tour.

334
00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:36,293
Sweet! Claire, what do you say?

335
00:12:36,295 --> 00:12:37,661
We can pretend to saw you in half.

336
00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:38,950
Or just do it.

337
00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:42,532
Hello. Hi. Hi. Excuse me.

338
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:43,834
Why are you dressed like that?

339
00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:45,268
Imposteur!

340
00:12:45,337 --> 00:12:46,536
Tu es un imposteur!

341
00:12:46,638 --> 00:12:48,305
You're... You're the imposteur...

342
00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:50,207
if that word means
what I think it means.

343
00:12:50,309 --> 00:12:51,334
He'd stolen Fizbo.

344
00:12:51,343 --> 00:12:52,676
The whimsically mismatched plaids,

345
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,177
my trademark bold splash of pink,

346
00:12:54,246 --> 00:12:55,479
my blue lip!

347
00:12:55,797 --> 00:12:58,331
He'd clearly seen one of
my online clown tutorials!

348
00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,333
Hey, guys. Fizbo again.

349
00:13:00,435 --> 00:13:02,369
Just remember when you're
applying your rouge to go easy.

350
00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:03,937
You're an Auguste clown, not a tramp.

351
00:13:05,107 --> 00:13:06,742
You know what? Give me the jacket.

352
00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:07,807
Oh! I...

353
00:13:07,809 --> 00:13:09,245
I should've seen that coming.

354
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,744
Donne moi ce mouchoir!

355
00:13:14,563 --> 00:13:16,832
- Touch�, monsieur!
- You know what? Give me my wig.

356
00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:19,135
And that's when it hit me.

357
00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:20,365
Ooh!

358
00:13:21,272 --> 00:13:22,805
"The Clowns of Europe."

359
00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:24,740
I got this when I was a teenager.

360
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,842
It was my "Sergeant Pepper's."

361
00:13:26,911 --> 00:13:29,244
Clown after clown pushing the envelope,

362
00:13:29,313 --> 00:13:31,013
including Fizbeau.

363
00:13:31,115 --> 00:13:33,515
B-E-A-U!

364
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,517
Here, I thought I'd come up
with the idea, but he was right.

365
00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:37,419
I was the imposteur.

366
00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:38,587
If that's the word.

367
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:40,089
For my high school language requirement,

368
00:13:40,191 --> 00:13:41,523
I took auction-calling.

369
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:48,663
Isn't Napoleon's tomb spectacular?

370
00:13:48,682 --> 00:13:51,683
Just so you know, when I go,
I-I don't need all this.

371
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,387
Look. That's Manny over there.

372
00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:56,621
No, no.

373
00:13:56,723 --> 00:13:58,123
I'll go get him.

374
00:14:01,695 --> 00:14:02,828
How did it go?

375
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,729
Are they giving Jay an award?

376
00:14:04,832 --> 00:14:07,299
No. They said it would set
a very dangerous precedent.

377
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:08,600
And in perfect English.

378
00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:10,035
Turns out this whole misunderstanding

379
00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:11,303
was completely avoidable.

380
00:14:11,405 --> 00:14:12,838
We need to figure out something.

381
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,673
Jay can never find out

382
00:14:14,775 --> 00:14:17,542
that Earl got an award instead of him.

383
00:14:19,002 --> 00:14:20,011
Wow.

384
00:14:20,013 --> 00:14:21,146
Look at this place.

385
00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:23,648
The craftsmanship, the architecture.

386
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,917
They say the domed ceiling
acts as a whisper chamber.

387
00:14:26,019 --> 00:14:28,019
What does "whisper chamber" mean?

388
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:30,522
It means I heard
everything you just said.

389
00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:32,390
I have to turn my TV up to 40,

390
00:14:32,493 --> 00:14:34,025
but that was loud and clear!

391
00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:41,032
Ah.

392
00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:42,800
Hunh-hunh.

393
00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:43,912
Mm-hmm. Mm.

394
00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:46,604
- Ah.
- Merci.

395
00:14:46,706 --> 00:14:47,805
Oh.

396
00:14:47,874 --> 00:14:49,207
It was easy to fit in.

397
00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:52,110
All I had to do was look good
and have a lot of attitude.

398
00:14:52,179 --> 00:14:54,012
Paris was just like one big gay bar.

399
00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:56,147
- Et voilà.
- Ah.

400
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,385
Votre pigeon, monsieur.

401
00:15:00,453 --> 00:15:01,753
"Pigeon"?

402
00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:03,021
Notre sp�cialit�.

403
00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,155
- Ah.
- Bon app�tit.

404
00:15:04,257 --> 00:15:05,623
Yah.

405
00:15:07,394 --> 00:15:08,960
Yaaaaah.

406
00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:18,135
No. I can't... I can't do it.

407
00:15:18,237 --> 00:15:19,670
I can't do it. I'm not French.

408
00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:21,305
And I-I'm not eating that.

409
00:15:21,374 --> 00:15:23,674
This scarf is driving me crazy!

410
00:15:24,811 --> 00:15:25,876
E-Excusez-moi...

411
00:15:25,878 --> 00:15:26,977
Cheeseburger, that way.

412
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,412
Cool. Thanks, man!

413
00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:32,016
Wow.

414
00:15:32,118 --> 00:15:34,485
It's amazing how much magic
they got out of those old wands.

415
00:15:34,587 --> 00:15:37,054
Today, magicians have it so easy,
you know?

416
00:15:37,156 --> 00:15:38,322
Oh, yeah.

417
00:15:38,391 --> 00:15:41,291
Well, this basically feels
like a natural breaking point,

418
00:15:41,394 --> 00:15:42,526
for me, at least.

419
00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:45,161
Uh, Phil and I should
probably... you know?

420
00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:46,613
If you must, but our tickets

421
00:15:46,682 --> 00:15:48,915
also get us to Le Mus�e des Automates.

422
00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,151
They're like robots, but very primitive.

423
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,853
They basically do nothing.

424
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:55,755
Um, like the one I built
out of old mufflers?

425
00:15:55,774 --> 00:15:56,796
Can we, Claire?

426
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,225
Oh, yes, can we, Claire?

427
00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:00,817
Excuse me.

428
00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:02,262
Hey, Gloria. What's up?

429
00:16:02,264 --> 00:16:03,496
I have a problem.

430
00:16:03,555 --> 00:16:04,557
Yeah, so do I.

431
00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:05,932
Apparently, I'm into nerds.

432
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:07,267
It's Jay.

433
00:16:07,369 --> 00:16:08,902
He's not getting that award.

434
00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,303
What?!

435
00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:11,938
It was some kind of mistake,

436
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,173
he found out, and now we can't find him.

437
00:16:14,242 --> 00:16:16,275
Oh, my God. Okay, I-I'll be right there.

438
00:16:16,377 --> 00:16:17,877
Are you sure it's okay?

439
00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:20,113
Uh, yeah, it's more than okay.

440
00:16:23,419 --> 00:16:24,951
Hey.

441
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:26,785
Hey.

442
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,187
H-How did you find me?

443
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,155
Well, you're pretty easy to spot.

444
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,291
Look, I-I'm sorry I overreacted, okay?

445
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:35,527
If you want to be Fizbo, be Fizbo.

446
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,362
I can never be Fizbo again.

447
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,897
Fizbo is dead.

448
00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:40,165
Oh, you're a moving target.

449
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,568
Look, I ran into the real Fizbo today,

450
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,269
and he squirted me in
the face with water

451
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,571
and hit me in the head with a book.

452
00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:46,582
What?!

453
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,657
See, here, I thought I had created

454
00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:49,858
this special, unique thing,

455
00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,728
but I'm the one that's
been a fraud all this time!

456
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,097
I'm throwing the suit in the river!

457
00:16:55,199 --> 00:16:56,398
Wait.

458
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,533
That's littering.
There's a trash can right over here.

459
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,318
Wait!

460
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,086
Look, I-I gotta say, um...

461
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,389
I don't...
I don't think you stole anything.

462
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,623
What do you mean?

463
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,625
Well, you said he hit you
in the head with a book.

464
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,994
I mean,
I thought Fizbo was all about joy.

465
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,297
He is. He's the embodiment
of childlike innocence.

466
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:13,398
Exactly.

467
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,967
Fizbo would never resort to violence.

468
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,203
This guy doesn't sound like Fizbo to me.

469
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,471
Well, he sure looked like him.

470
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,106
Fizbo's more than just
a-a pair of big shoes

471
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,609
and an... un-sexy jacket.

472
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,910
He... He's an idea.

473
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:27,879
If I've learned anything today,

474
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,981
it's that clothes do not make the man...

475
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,315
or the clown.

476
00:17:31,837 --> 00:17:34,151
And you are the real Fizbo.

477
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,321
- You mean it?
- I know.

478
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,522
Now, come on.

479
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,558
Let's enjoy Paris. It's Valentine's Day.

480
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:42,760
Mwah.

481
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:43,967
Come on.

482
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,896
Where did you get this crazy get-up?

483
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,498
People are gonna stare.

484
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,903
So... what was your favorite
part of the robot museum?

485
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,171
Oh, man.

486
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,639
I can't decide. You go first.

487
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,907
No, you'll just copy me.

488
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,742
I do that.

489
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:02,279
Well, let's, uh,
let's just say it at the same time.

490
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,280
On three.

491
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:04,815
One, two, three.

492
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,783
The mechanical monkey band.

493
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:07,858
- Le jinx!
- Jinx!

494
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:09,686
Double jinx.

495
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,055
Ohhhh.

496
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:13,523
Pour vous deux.

497
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,259
O-Oh, my God. It's a painting!

498
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,494
Of us!

499
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,795
Merci.

500
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,997
- Merci beaucoup.
- Merci.

501
00:18:21,637 --> 00:18:23,600
Is my... hand on yours?

502
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:26,469
Yeah, but I-I don't...
think we did that.

503
00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:32,191
Well, um, I better...
better go find Claire.

504
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,660
Of course. Yes.

505
00:18:33,728 --> 00:18:35,295
Okay. W-Weird. I guess this is goodbye.

506
00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:36,963
You... You should have this.

507
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,665
Keep it.

508
00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:41,000
You'll give it to me in 30 years.

509
00:18:41,102 --> 00:18:42,590
In our caf�.

510
00:18:43,053 --> 00:18:44,170
I'll be there.

511
00:18:46,606 --> 00:18:48,908
Au revoir... Guy.

512
00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:57,883
Hey.

513
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,451
I talked to Gloria.

514
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,186
Thought I might find you here.

515
00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:05,224
It's a shame, Notre Dame.

516
00:19:05,326 --> 00:19:06,792
The fire.

517
00:19:06,894 --> 00:19:07,926
Yeah.

518
00:19:07,995 --> 00:19:10,362
It used to be so
impressive back in its day.

519
00:19:10,464 --> 00:19:13,131
It's still pretty impressive.

520
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:16,134
Just a shell of its former self.

521
00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,203
Best days are behind it.

522
00:19:19,907 --> 00:19:21,840
It'll never be the same.

523
00:19:23,944 --> 00:19:27,746
It's taken some hits,
but it's still standing,

524
00:19:27,848 --> 00:19:30,163
and that's... that's grit.

525
00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,350
That's what inspires people.

526
00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:34,319
That's what inspires me.

527
00:19:35,388 --> 00:19:37,255
It's so embarrassing.

528
00:19:37,324 --> 00:19:38,923
The whole reason the family's here

529
00:19:38,992 --> 00:19:40,525
is to see me get that damn award.

530
00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:41,693
Oh, Dad!

531
00:19:41,761 --> 00:19:43,328
You and I are the only
ones in this family

532
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:45,229
who care about closets.

533
00:19:45,298 --> 00:19:47,598
We're here because we love you.

534
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:51,102
Come on. Let's go
get ready for that dinner.

535
00:19:56,742 --> 00:20:00,711
45 years is a long time
to spend in one industry,

536
00:20:00,813 --> 00:20:02,646
and I've accomplished a lot.

537
00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:04,615
The whisper hinge brought serenity

538
00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:06,116
to the American bedroom.

539
00:20:06,185 --> 00:20:10,187
My glow knobs revolutionized
getting dressed in the dark.

540
00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:11,856
And I led the charge

541
00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,092
to standardize the angle of shoe racks.

542
00:20:15,194 --> 00:20:18,929
But the thing that I'm...
that I'm proudest of...

543
00:20:19,031 --> 00:20:20,097
is my family.

544
00:20:21,601 --> 00:20:23,968
Thank you for being here.

545
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:25,736
I love you all.

546
00:20:27,707 --> 00:20:29,807
You're my lifetime achievement award.

547
00:20:29,909 --> 00:20:32,042
- Oh! Thanks, Dad.
- That's so sweet.

548
00:20:32,144 --> 00:20:33,177
We love you, too.

549
00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:34,311
We love you, Jay.

550
00:20:34,313 --> 00:20:35,513
Claire Pritchett?

551
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:37,982
Jean-Luc?!

552
00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:43,087
I had a lot of fun here in college.

553
00:20:43,189 --> 00:20:44,288
What are you doing here?

554
00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:46,023
Um... how are you?

555
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,909
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com

556
00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:36,438